Blonde and Dangerous Jessica Simpson Grabs Rifle for New Movie

Douglas Boultinghouse
Arts & Entertainment Editor

Courtesy of Sony Pictures

"I will never be without my rifle!" - Jessica Simpson stars as Megan Valentine in "Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous." The DVD hit stores Feb. 3.

   Jessica Simpson ventured into an acting career in 2005 with "The Dukes of Hazzard."  While she filled her "daisy dukes" with southern charm and talent, many critics failed to take her seriously.

   She tried her hand at acting again in 2006's "Employee of the Month," which received mostly negative reviews. The same thing happened with 2008's "Blonde Ambition." The film opened in theaters in Texas, but flopped and later released to DVD.

  Simpson took the DVD route for her newest comedy "Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous." She stars as Megan Valentine in the film originally titled "Major Movie Star." 

   Much like Simpson, the world focuses on actress Valentine. When the star's money is stolen, her boyfriend leaves her and her career is flushing down the toilet, what does she do?

   She enlists in the army after wrecking her car, getting drunk and passing out in front of the army recruiter's office. But before she could enlist she had one question to ask.

   "Can I pee first?" she asked.

   Valentine's arrival to boot camp began with confusion. The privates-to-be wondered why an a-list actress wearing a designer gown is dropping to give ten push-ups. After the push-ups, even she wondered why she enlisted in the army.

   First sergeant Louisa Morley, played by Vivica A. Fox, made it clear that “Hollywood’s” journey would be a rocky road.

   For weeks, Valentine trained and usually caused problems for the entire squad by forgetting her rifle. Her forgetfulness caused all privates to stand in the rain chanting, “I will never be without my rifle.”

   With screw-ups and smart remarks, she created tension between herself and the rest of army that soon faded as she bonded with the women in training.

   Just when Valentine begins to find her way, her publicist plants a false-story in the tabloids saying the actress was preparing for a role and it was all publicity.

   The story caused a rift between the women she called her friends and the army dismisses Valentine.

   Valentine returns to her mansion after her money has been tracked down, but she feels empty.

   She fires her staff, informs her manager and publicist she is in control from now on and returns to the army base.

   When she returns, the privates make it clear she is not welcome. Out of spite, the sergeant places Valentine in charge of a group during the last mission. Determined to prove herself, she tells some where to shove it and takes control over the others.

   Will Valentine’s acting skills and stunts help her group complete the mission? Will Private Valentine graduate from the academy? Watch the DVD to find out.

   Most importantly with this movie, Simpson proves she can act. She did not take on a light-hearted romance movie as many actresses do; she went straight for the laughter of comedy. Her comedic timing stands out, along with her hilarious impersonations of Joe Pesci and action scenes.

   For the first time, the singer and designer can add serious actress to her accomplishments.

   “Private Valentine” is in stores now, so pick up a copy, sit back and laugh.

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