Workshop Offers Advice for Dealing With Grief

Around Campus Editor

Photo by Nick Johnson

Dealing with Grief- Rubye Graham Emerson tells students how they can deal with grief Nov. 18. She encouraged students to face their loses  in way that would help them cope.

     
   Rubye Graham-Emerson, Counselor at Gateway Student Services at the University of Arkansas at Monticello, lead a counseling session called, “Life After Loss: Dealing with Grief” in Room 200 of Harris Hall Nov. 18.

   In an hour session, Emerson talked and encouraged students to face their losses (death, break-ups, loss of friends) in such ways that it would help them cope and hopefully, to conquer them in the long run. Emerson provided students with valuable information about the different kinds of losses we all face at some point in our lives. Students also shared some of their experiences and knowledge about how to mend old wounds.

   “Its kind of a morbid subject, and kind of hard to talk about” Emerson said “But since its close to Christmas and even closer to Thanksgiving, if anything major happened in your life around Christmas or Thanksgiving, you start to think about it. You tend to play these events over and over again in your mind and we don’t want you to be unhappy during the holidays.”

   “Even if what happened is your fault, there is nothing you can do about it. And if there was something you could’ve done about it, you would’ve never allowed it to happen in the first place. So, we have to move on, we have to ask for forgiveness if we played a part in it. If we didn’t play a part in the event, then we surely shouldn’t be unhappy about our loss,” Graham-Emerson added.

   Emerson also explained the two different kinds of losses in life, sudden loss vs. predictable loss. In sudden loss, you have no way to prepare. A person may experience symptoms such as sleep disturbance, nightmares, social isolation or severe anxiety. In predictable loss, you are allowed more time to prepare for the loss. This loss creates two layers of grief-anticipation of the loss and the final loss.

   She explained in order to manage grief successfully; a person must change their surroundings, develop a hobby, make new friends, join a club or even travel with a group. In helping others with this issue, she recommended being a good listener to the person who is hurt and continue to offer help to them after their situation has settled down. She also recommended preparing meals, taking the person to movies, church or some kind of recreational outing.

   She described one way to look at grief.

   “Remember, grief is like an open wound. It takes a long time to heal and is eventually completely healed, but the scar remains,” she said.

   Emerson is from McGehee, Arkansas. She attended Purdue University where she earned her associates degree in Human Services, her bachelor’s degree in Psychology, and her master’s degree in Education and Counseling. In addition to these accolades, she attended Oral Roberts University for her EDD.

   “I wanted to set up a workshop that I felt would be an advantage for the students and something they would learn about and would prepare themselves for, “ she said. “Because the holiday season is fast approaching and because of the state of the economy, that’s the reason we’re setting up these workshops.”

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